’Gotta hear it from You

Why is it that I can somehow see through this world
why is it like I’m always looking through a window
why is it the people are so transparent, even their hearts
why do I feel my body and mind are just containers
why is it I still see when I stop my breathing
what is it in me still watches even when I’m sleeping
what is it I throw out of me when my eyes touch another’s
how can the empty behind the full be so abundant?

          I’m not talking in symbols now.
          No, I’m not trying to entertain you.
          I’m not fooling with metaphysics.
          No time left for me to play with you.
          Just asking this simple question.
          Just one word, one word only’ll do.
          Just give me a permit for my profession,
          but I’ve gotta hear it from you.

Where is the doorway to step out of this world machine
where is the gateway to get out of this walled city
where is the shallow where I can ford this stream, even now
where can I find the pass to lead me up out of this valley
where’s the court where I can go and get my hearing
why is it I still know that believing is just seeing
what is it in me still listens when my heart is hardened
how can the silence behind the song be so convincing?

          I’m not walking in circles now.
          No, I’ve got no place to go to meet you.
          I’m not ruling out pilgrimages.
          I only feel that maybe they’d unseat you.
          Just asking this simple question.
          Just one word, one word only’ll do.
          Just give me a blessing at my confession,
          but I’ve gotta hear it from you.

What is the meaning of this regular aberration
what is the purpose behind this persistent wrinkle
what is it, floating in my eyes, even when I shut them
what is it blocking my stubborn attempts at solution
what is the reason for my constant detention
why is it I still look in through the window
why have they left me alone here without a pass key
how can the darkness behind the light be so radiant?

          I’m not talking in symbols now.
          No, I’m not trying to entertain you.
          I’m not dueling with mental itches.
          No time for that unless I gain you.
          Just asking this simple question.
          Just one word, one word only’ll do.
          Just give me the object of my obsession,
          but I’ve gotta hear it from you.

— Romanós