There are many ways to avoid getting angry in situations where it would be a natural reaction to do so. For me, if I am able to get away and just pull back, not taking offense, not wishing offense, not desirous of revenge, not seeking to justify myself, but just to retreat into silence and await the Lord's judgment: He lifts me up, He answers for me, He silences my mind and heart, He empties me of sorrow, and in the end, He shatters the bonds that hold me.But I can do something else: I can take offense, I can react, I can seek revenge, I can try to justify myself, I can dig up history to add to my arsenal, and I can recklessly run into anger and, clothed with it, go to destroy the person or situation that I have convinced myself to hate. I will avoid silence because it might convict me. Noise, even mental noise, is better, anything is better than being a wimp and letting the other get advantage of me.
I am a simple man whom reading books will not help much. Only one word, one word only will do, and after that, silence.
He comes, He comes to judge the earth, to judge the peoples, to judge even me, with justice and truth.
Lord, have mercy!
1 comment:
I think I understand what you mean by "mental noise." Anyway, for me it happens when I ruminate over things. It is like an obssession. I just go over and over things, word for word, in my mind. But I still love books and certain sounds: wind chimes, rain, even a distant locomotive. What I cannot tolerate is TV commercials, music in the supermarket, even household appliances.
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