Weeping

Nothing more beautiful than a woman weeping.
Nothing more humbling than a man weeping.

These thoughts kept me awake nearly all night.

Nothing more beautiful than a woman weeping. How can this be? Why aren’t images of weeping women on the covers of magazines to grab our attention? Why aren’t there “Miss Weeping America” pageants? People think a woman beautiful if she is well-dressed, cosmetically enhanced, has a trim figure, and is always smiling, always positive and outgoing, someone who it’s a pleasure to be with.

A woman weeping, she has given up for lost whatever made her think she could ever be happy. She weeps because of the death of her husband or her only son. She weeps because even what little she had has been taken from her. She weeps because she no longer cares who is looking on, or what anyone thinks of her. She weeps because she has returned everything that she relied on to keep her safe, knowing now that there was no salvation in it. Not her public image, her reputation, matters anymore. She has laid down her rebellion and given up her insistence on having her own way. She has died before her death. That’s why she weeps. That’s why nothing is more beautiful than a woman weeping. She is now herself as God made her, and empty so that she can be filled, and filled so that her cup runs over.

A man weeping, he has come to the end of trying to be what he could never be. He weeps because his self-image, what he was taught he must be, has been broken. He weeps too because he has wasted his life pursuing a deceit, believing as true what could never have been true, without even having checked its credentials. He weeps because he now knows that all he took for his manly strengths were weaknesses. He weeps because he now understands that all he took for weaknesses were really his manly strengths, and there is so little time. Not his appearance, not his prowess, not his wealth, not his education, not his accomplishments, matter anymore. He is ready to die, and he weeps because he now knows that he can never die. That’s why he weeps. That’s why nothing is more humbling than a man weeping. He is now himself as God made him, and empty so that he can be filled, and filled so that his cup runs over.

A girl, a young woman weeps, because she knows that this weeping will continue for many more years, but for how long?

A boy, a young man weeps, because he doesn’t know if he will make it through to the end. His father tells him, ‘Son, I was once as you are now, and I am still the same, and yet, here I stand. I carried you on my shoulders when you were small, and you are tall in my eyes, always tall, as you stand on my shoulders now.’

Nothing more beautiful than a woman weeping.
Nothing more humbling than a man weeping.

They went away, went away weeping, carrying the seed;
They come back, come back singing, carrying their sheaves.
Psalm 126:6 Jerusalem Bible

This image of Jesus weeping, by Tissot, is from the official website of St. Takla Haymanout Coptic Orthodox Church, Alexandria, Egypt.