An unanswered invitation

Four years ago this month, I wrote to a dear friend…

Happy Birthday (belated)!

Last week Philip mentioned something about it being your birthday, and I responded, “Why didn’t you tell me? I would like to have given her a present.” He said, “Well, it’s not too late,” and here it is, a book which I hope you will enjoy. Yet, there is more, and that, later.

This little book, A Mind Awake, is an anthology of excerpts from the writings of C.S. Lewis, arranged by categories and topics, first published back in the late 1960’s after the author’s death (C.S. Lewis died on the same day that President Kennedy was assassinated). I like this kind of book, because you can pick it up at any moment, open it to any place, and usually find something interesting, poignant and brief to feed your mind on.

Getting this book for you got me to thinking.
You and Philip and I have a unique kind of relationship, one of mutual sympathy, loyalty, respect and even love (all understood in the best senses). Of course, most of the face to face relationship time is between Philip and myself, as we’ve worked together on and off over many years. We know how to get along and have never (to my recollection) even been angry or mad at each other in all that time, despite the fact that on occasion we have expressed opposing views on some subjects. We’ve always been willing to keep our mutual friendship on a level high above these controversies that come and go. I have this kind of relationship with very few people, not even with family members. I value that more than you can imagine. Yet, as good as that relationship is, I still hope for it to mature to the last stage before we, each of us, have to pass through the last gate.

You know, I make no secret of my following (or rather trying to follow) Jesus Christ. I have spent in total probably many days talking to Philip about spiritual things, about God, and beauty, and truth, and immortality, and the Divine Nature, and moral choices, and God’s mercy. On and on it goes, through all our many years together. This is what I meant by what I said above: we have shared many things, and although we sometimes don’t quite understand each other, or agree completely, our relationship hasn’t changed. Still, as good as it is, I want it to be even better, and so I am stepping out in a way perhaps I haven’t before, to wager what we have now against what we could have, which is much better. Why am I doing this? Because I have learned, God values high-risk investments. What I am going to say next, I ask you earnestly to consider carefully and let it ferment in your mind and heart for as long as it needs to, before you either take a draught or throw it away. There is no “catch 22” with this one: if you receive what I want to hand over to you, things will definitely change (I can’t tell you how, except it will be for the better), but if you do not receive it, our friendship will not change an iota (things can remain as before, if you will allow it).

Almost everyone of us was brought up with a “religious” affiliation. If my memory serves me right, yours was Roman Catholic (as was mine). We had to go to church, memorise prayers and creeds, and were expected to take on the baggage of our family heritage. “The ancestors in stone armor, calling for loyalty untrue, seek to make a zig-zag of the arrow’s flight.” But something happened, and we couldn’t quite swallow that pill. Instead, trusting in our own lights, we tried to navigate our own way through the world, believing and doing what we thought was best “for us,” and letting others do the same. Actually, this is the state of nature and is right, provided we understand that this arena of freedom was put there by Someone so that we could find Him, not through compulsion or blind obedience to other humans (our parents, our teachers, etc.), or fear, but by the absolute exercise of our free wills, given we inform them with actual Truth and not with fables (unchallenged views of others).

Rather than bore you now with any further discussion on how we got where we have, or why it is good or not good from any particular point of view, I just want to cut through all that, and lay before you some ideas simple but true: We exist because God exists. We are personal because God is personal. We love because God loves. We know what’s right because God is Truth. We need each other because God needs us. We want to be happy because God created us for Joy.

There was a Greek elder, Porphyrios by name, who said this, putting some words in the mouth of Christ (or rather, as I believe, Christ put His words into Elder Porphyrios’ mouth):

This is the way we should see Christ—He is our friend, our brother. He is whatever is good and beautiful. He is everything. Yet, He is still a friend and He shouts it out, “You’re my friends, don’t you understand that? We’re brothers. I’m not threatening you. I don’t hold hell in my hands. I love you. I want you to enjoy life together with me.” Christ is Everything. He is joy, He is life, He is light. He is the true light who makes man joyful, makes him soar with happiness; makes him see everything, everybody; makes him feel for everyone, to want everyone with him, everyone with Christ. Love Christ and put nothing before His Love. Christ is Everything. He is the source of life, the ultimate desire, He is everything. Everything beautiful is in Christ. Somebody who is Christ’s must love Christ, and when he loves Christ he is delivered from the devil, from hell and from death.

This is not an invitation to come to church or to be religious, maybe not even to be a “Christian.” (I myself hesitate now to call myself a Christian, and I have constantly corrected people when they refer to me as a religious person. That, I am not.) There are at least two things going on here. One is (and this is all that matters) that a human soul should accept Jesus Christ as Lord and God, and enter into a personal, saving relationship with Him. The other is (and this can only follow, and not lead) that there are churches and religions, teachings, customs, traditions, cultures, and all the other furnishings for the soul, some good, some bad. If you are pushed or dragged, born or married, bedazzled or educated into the second thing, you may never find the first, and that is all that matters, so it would be for nothing. But what I am appealing to you to seek (and what I have been appealing to Philip for many years within the arena of our tolerant and loving friendship) is that First Thing.

Do you know that God exists? Can’t you feel Him pressing on you somehow? That pressing presence is not His hatred but His love, but He is calling you in freedom to freedom. If you don’t know how to find Him and see Him like some others do, can you just start by simple, unceremonial faith (that is, trust) and just speak to Him, as if He were there (because He is) and say, “Yes, Lord, I do love you, and I know you love me. Show yourself to me, in spite of myself, and free me from whatever it is that keeps me from seeing you and knowing you. Lead me to those who love you, and join me to that family where we all love each other, where we are all truly happy to be together, where we know our Father’s love so well that we can be generous without measure, where judgment dies on our lips, where all we can see is love performing its miracles, where your love, Lord, washes over us, taking away our sins and our failures, leaving us clean and fresh, our youth renewed, and ready for anything.”

I really hope you will read A Mind Awake. I don’t think you are a bookish person, neither am I (contrary to what many think about me). This is a great book by a great Christian writer who knows how to write about God as He really is, not how He has been presented to us by mistaken teachers, our college friends, or the media. Most of all, though, I invite you to pray to the Lord, the God of our childhood, who was always there and has never changed, who is holding you in the palm of his hand right now as you read this, and who is only waiting for you to look to him. And as crazy as it seems, what if you were to accept the invitation, what then?

Well, life will go on, though not exactly in the same way. New friendships of a different quality will begin to appear; some old ones will be escalated to a new level, others will begin to fade, as they show what they really were. When Truth arrives in our lives, it burns up everything that is not true, leaving only itself.

On the practical level, I want you (and Philip, of course) to know that when you (and he) decide to accept the kind of invitation I have extended to you in this letter, you can depend on me for anything necessary for you to make your way into this new kind of life. Being born again through the exercise of your will to make that leap of faith, there will be someone (among them, I) to assist your landing. I can pray with you, read the Bible with you, socialise with you, teach you the “Christian language,” and also assist you in anything necessary for you to find your way. You can “go to church” with us at the Orthodox temple, where you can participate as much or as little, growing and learning at your own rate, mixing with others like yourself as much or as little as you like. If the Orthodox way makes sense, you can stay with us. Or, you can explore on your own. I am not now proselytising for a religion.

Remember what I said about the two things. It’s only the first I am proposing, and to assist you in that, and that alone, in knowing Jesus Christ the way He really is, in responding to His call, is my object in taking this risk with you. I will always be your friend, no matter what you choose; but what it is not mine to give, His friendship, is waiting for you, if you choose Him. Remember what words Elder Porphyrios put in Christ’s mouth, “You’re my friends, don’t you understand that? We’re brothers. I’m not threatening you. I don’t hold hell in my hands. I love you. I want you to enjoy life together with me.” And finally, think about what the gospel says, “And eternal life is this: To know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.” (John 17:3)

Happy birthday! God grant you many years!
With respect and love, your friend
Romanós