Commandments.A new wife willingly submits to her husband in all things as to her lord, and he lays down his life for her in all things, loving her as he loves himself. These are commandments, but why do they do them?
For no other reason, but love.
A son patiently listens to his old father’s advice, given unasked again and again, and continues to abide by his old mother’s household rules, fussy though they seem. This is commandment, but why does he fulfill it?
For no other reason, but love.
I have heard of people—indeed, I have seen them and known them—who go about performing their acts of righteousness without a hint of joy, carrying their burdens as if they were heavy, and bullying others, even trying to impose their unhappy fate on them.
Then, I have met people who, pretending to be amicable and full of joy beneath masks of boastfulness, flaunt their freedom from commandments, and solicit our approval of their immorality by the nice way they greet and treat us.
Last night, I was helping a young married couple move out of their old place to a new townhouse just around the corner. Just as we were loading the last few items into my van, another red vehicle almost identical to mine pulled up in the spot next to us.
A dad who looked about my age hopped out of the driver’s seat, followed by a young couple from the other side, and after a mutual greeting between us, they explained they were moving into the townhouse right next door.
After propping the house door open, the kids started carrying small items in. I assumed this was another young couple, “twenty-somethings,” moving in with the assistance of one of their dads, not an uncommon situation. I’ve done things like this.
The dad waxed very loquacious with me and the mom of the young couple I was helping. “Yeah, I’ve had five kids, and done this moving thing a lot.
This is my daughter, one of the five. She’s 23 and all ready to live on her own.” “Oh, she’s moving in by herself?” we asked. “Well, yeah, but I’m sure her boyfriend will be spending most of his time here,” responded the dad with a little laugh and a mischievous look on his face. Ah, so he knew, he even expected, this. He approved.
This is not going to be a rant about young men and women sleeping together and making love before they are married. This way of “courtship” is now almost universal, even in the case of church-going young adults. It’d be embarrassing to be a 26 year old virgin.
Modern churches, like modern society, being accustomed to a “cart before the horse” mentality—that’s what the automobile age has brought us—little preach or teach biblical morality, or if they do, they practice “safe sex” with their members: “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” It’s better for all concerned.
“Cart before the horse” mentality? Yes.
Communion before (or without) confessing the faith: the means to unity, not the fruit of it.
The “Christmas season,” not the 12 days starting with Christmas and ending with Epiphany, the culmination and satisfaction of the 40 days of fasting leading up to it, but the two months starting practically with Hallowe’en: the means to happiness, but not happiness, or even joy, itself.
Living together, with all that it implies, as a sort of “practice run”—though not a dry run—of the idea of marriage: Like the offer of a “no strings attached” trial of a confidently good product such as the Oreck vacuum cleaner.“No strings attached” means you can return it with no loss to you, not exactly the same as a “money back guarantee,” but in either case, the offer is simply not unconditional or free.
Virginity is a gift that a man brings a woman, and a woman brings a man. It’s a gift that can only be offered once. There’s no taking it back, either. Why is it we’re not troubled by these uncomfortable words? “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one.” (Ephesians 5:31) Don’t we ever wonder what this means?
Back to the dad helping his daughter move into her new place, with her boyfriend’s help. Friendly people, comfortable to be around, affable. Commandments? What are they? What do you say? They’re things that God (whoever or whatever that is) wants us to do or to refrain from doing? Oh, I see, you mean the “thou shalt not’s”.
Give me a break. We’re not 5 year olds!
Commandments.
The positive ones are like invitations from an impossibly wealthy Benefactor to perform a simple task, so that He can reward you.
The negative ones are like lines that you must not, at all costs, cross. It’s the same Benefactor, but now He’s warning you of imminent disaster.
Think of the lines painted on millions of miles of automobile roads all over the planet. Have you ever noticed that no one, but no one, and especially during rush hour, just drives his car meandering all over the highway in total disregard of the lines? What would happen if he did is too terrible to imagine. We have all witnessed terrifying things on the road, a car veers out of its lane—the driver distracted, drunk, or even having a heart attack or stroke—and in no time at all an often fatal pile up of fast-moving vehicles takes place.If only we could see that the lines we’re commanded not to cross are like that.
Every action has its consequences, yet because we no longer really believe in “cause and effect” we are like drivers who play hop-scotch on highways during rush hour, dodging in and out of traffic to get where they want to be faster than anyone else. We believe in luck, if we believe in anything. Yet, even luck runs out in the end, for everyone who relies on it.
Why do we follow the commandments? Is it to “gain heaven,” or earn our way into a respectable family? Are our good deeds like bargaining chips which we’ll be able to bring to the table of eternity? Can they pile up like the “excess merits of the saints?”
No, as holy prophet Isaiah sings,Like a young man marrying a virgin,
so will the One who built you wed you,
and as the Bridegroom
rejoices in His Bride,
so will your God rejoice in you.
Isaiah 62:5 Jerusalem Bible
Someone loves us like that, and we in turn have no desire anymore but to return that love.
Commandments? They are our joy, we fulfill them, we follow them because we follow Him who is our Joy, and all for no other reason, but love.
I run the way of Your commandments,
since You have set me free.
Psalm 119:32 JB
"Commandments? They are our joy, we fulfill them, we follow them because we follow Him who is our Joy, and all for no other reason, but love." Ameyn! I love this wonderful words, very true! :)
ReplyDeleteAmin, Ameyn, Amen!
ReplyDeleteTrue words from my true friend. I needed to hear this...
(The Oreck illustration cracked me up...)
Word verification: diesha
My experience with people who shack up together - generally speaking - is that they don't do it because of how it will affect anyone outside of themselves.
ReplyDeleteRelationships these days are often legalized self-indulgence. Christianity does a nice job of dressing this up in rational arguments, but it doesn't change the fact that there are two reasons to marry within the church:
1) To cultivate and raise more Christians.
2) To multiply grace into hospitality - to extend the family lines to include others.
The second one was very important in the early church, because many house churches grew specifically by increasing their families.
If these two things aren't on the radar, people are just fornicating... which is not a big deal from a legal point of view - Paul confirms the releases of Christians from those bonds of the previous testament... but he imposes the simpler yoke of the new testament - the challenge to live fully within the world, but not to the point where you couldn't live without it.
Reason being, the very things you are not able to live without in this world are the things that you'll be tempted with in death... and they become the things that prevent your soul from desiring the resurrection above everything else.
This is the iconic symbol of Christ in the desert being tempted. While it is true that Christ was offered food, justification and power by the devil, the real test was not these three things. The test was whether Christ would come back from the desert and follow through with the Lord's plan.
Many people find themselves lost in relationships with people and things on this earth that will appear to them in Hades in great abundance... illusions though they be, it's like the conversation of Cypher over steak.
Who would seek the resurrection if, in death, they were offered the shadow of the love of their life - the one who got away - for eternity. Who would give up the dream to follow Christ and leave the desert of death behind?
Paul's answer - not people who are so obsessed with the physical world that they steal, exploit, cheat, fornicate, etc. It's no longer just about the commandments - it's about overcoming the tantalizing power of Hades to turn your appetites into obsessions.
My first sentence can be read in the exact opposite of the way it was intended...
ReplyDeletePeople who shack up do it because they have no concept of the implications it has on their own family or their community - or worse, they believe it has no consequences because they are unable to see what has been lost.
Interesting points, Jacob.
ReplyDeleteOne of the things you said is a subject that is on my mind right now and about which I am likely to blog. This passage from your comment made me think of it...
"there are two reasons to marry within the church:
1) To cultivate and raise more Christians.
2) To multiply grace into hospitality - to extend the family lines to include others.
The second one was very important in the early church, because many house churches grew specifically by increasing their families.
If these two things aren't on the radar, people are just fornicating..."
That sort of gives the lie to the modern mindset about marriage, which makes it a legal and (hopefully) monogamous construct for sexual pleasure.
Also liked your example of Cipher in another context.
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Important post Romanos-standing against the culture is not easy! The evangelical church likes to pick on the gays when withinin the their churches heterosexual sin is rampant. I am convinced God is more angry with heterosexual sin in the church that homosexual sin outside it- and he will chastise those who he loves.
ReplyDeleteLast night at the youth Club I run for 'unchurched' working class kids one of the young men (15years old)was asking me how he would have to change his life to be a Christian.One thing he asked was:'what's all this about having no sex before marriage'as he didn't think it was a good idea especially as most people did it.
I then asked him why he thought God commanded us not to do it? He mentioned that it may because people can get various diseases (V.D. etc).I then asked him would he like to marry someone who had multiple sexual relationships-of course he said'no'.Then I asked him would allow his wife to have different sexual partners.He concluded that it was the best way to have sex within marriage.
Even trials have their problems as normally one of the couple will often feel exploited especially if it doesn't work out.Though God can forgive and heal with His grace, sexual sins will always leave a scar- and regret- better to read the instruction manual and do what the maker tells us to do.