No better than the rich young man

It’s 12:37 in the morning of July 5th. The night sky isn’t flashing as much with rockets as it was two hours ago, but the sound of small fireworks still fills the air. It’s another hot, windless night. Soon I will sleep for a few hours, and then up again and start another day, Sunday, so with church service. I have some thoughts.

I notice, when I am posting a new entry on this blog, that there are “followers.” There’s a little icon on the dashboard that says I now have nine people following, that is, subscribing, to Cost of Discipleship. I know what Blogspot means by “followers.” They just mean people who want to advertise that they keep coming back to your blog. There’s an option for me to display this in the sidebar, to acknowledge that these people are “followers,” but I choose not to do this. Why not? Well, I confess that there are taboos in my life, things that I just won’t do, or say. Why not? Well, I have reasons, though many people will disagree with or nor understand them.
What reasons?

Just an example. To me, as a word, “follower” is taken captive by Jesus Christ. In relation to anything to do with me personally, “follower” has only one meaning, that is, disciple, because Jesus says, “Follow me.” (Mark 10:21) Also I abide by what holy apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians, “…we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5) As a human individual I cannot have “followers,” I can only be a “follower,” and only of Jesus Christ. I don’t want to promote myself as one worthy of having followers, and so I have chosen not to use this blog mechanism. Why not blog anonymously? It’s possible. The reason is, my blog is part of my testimony, and one’s testimony can never be detached or anonymous. Jesus says, “Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven.” (Matthew 10:32-33) I may be a sinner, a bad person, or simply an illiterate, but I must do what little good I can, and that is my testimony.

Earlier today I received a joking, or rather mocking, email.
Someone made up a parody of the Lord’s prayer, substituting “Obama” for “Our Father” and then changing the words of the prayer to show disapproval of his policies. I did not even finish reading past the first line, but instantly deleted the email, even though it was from a fellow Christian. (The person sending it to me did not write it; he was simply passing on something he thought I would agree with.) As a co-worker once said, “There are some things you just can’t unsee.” Unfortunately I saw too much, enough to know that this was something inadmissible, taboo, something you just don’t do. How a fellow Christian could be insensitive to taking the Word of God, spoken by Jesus Himself, and twist it for an unworthy purpose, to twist it at all, is incredible to me. But then, I feel the same way about bumper stickers with the name of God or Jesus on them, or for that matter, any symbol, even the ΙΧΘΥΣ Fish, being used as a subtle placard of Christian triumphalism. These things are not testimonies, because they are not personal. They are anonymous. Almost no one knows who’s driving that car, and they can’t be stopped to ask “What do you mean?”

Back to followers. I look at them sometimes, especially when a new one shows up, and I make a point of visiting their blog if they have one, to see what it’s about. The latest one was from someone who describes himself as a “gay nudist” Christian, and from looking at his blog, it appears he is a Methodist, and possibly even a clergyman. In the sidebar of his blog were links to gay porn sites. I reviewed a number of his posts (yes, there was a warning statement before I was even allowed to see his blog, that it might contain unsuitable or offensive content), and that is how I discovered he is a Christian. All of the posts I read were well written, mainline Protestant in content, and if I had not first read his profile, I would not have even suspected that he is a homosexual Christian. The topics were none of them to do with sexuality issues. The contrast between his blog post content and the familiarity with the bible and spiritual subjects it demonstrated contrasted sharply with the sidebar contents. Here was an even more extreme disconnect with what I have known and accepted about Christ and about concepts of right and wrong.

That made me think about my own life in Christ, shaped by the Law of Yahweh as Psalm 19 says, “…thus Your servant is formed by them,” and how different it could be from the life in Christ that other Christians lead. I’ve always been aware that there are differences, but I’ve usually considered them to be superficial. Now, I am not so sure. The three examples above are pieces of what is confusing me. It seems as we approach, or rather, as the Day approaches us, that everything that is hidden is being revealed, as Jesus teaches, “…for nothing is covered that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known.” (Matthew 10:26) The seeds of sin that are planted in all of us are sprouting, growing, flowering and bearing fruit, evil fruit that leads to death. Yet God is faithful, and He is giving increase to the good seed that He has planted in us by His Word and Spirit. That much I am certain of.

One truth that I’ve tried to make part of me is, to always say ‘Yes’ to God, to whatever He places in my path, be it a person, an event, a thing to do or say, and to not resist His will, but to accept whatever it is He is leading me to do. This is not the same thing as saying ‘Yes’ to everything that presents itself to the mind. Discernment is the key here. Never to do or say anything one knows is wrong. The evil one, however, aping the words of Truth, has unleashed the demons in us to fulfill in our flesh all their fantasies, calling them ours. This he does, even on the church steps, even in the church itself, even sometimes at the pulpit and altar.

I see this ad when I use BibleGateway.com. It advertises that the NIV bible now comes in a multitude of versions, adapted to one’s personal situation. I’m sorry to have to say this, but even this is a ploy of the evil one. The Word of God is now tailored to fit us? Whatever happened to the idea that we are tailored to fit the Word of God? This is just the incredible outworking of sin in us, to place ourselves on the Throne, that God Himself may wait on us and our needs (or desires).

So, I aim to say ‘Yes’ to the Lord, whatever He proposes. That’s what I think, what I say, and what I try to do. Yet, part of me is also praying, “but please, not that,” to things and situations I don’t think I can handle. Though I’m a sinner and an unprofitable servant (and I know it), I still want to be able to say I did at least what little I could, and so I say ‘Yes’ to those easy requests that the Lord has made of me, things I can do and still maintain my ‘independence’ and ‘freedom.’ But every so often, as if to show Himself and me how closely or distantly I am following Him, He presents me with a situation that I cannot say ‘Yes’ to without forfeiting who I think I am or pretend to be.

It is at those moments—glory to God—that He gently lets me know that I am no better than the rich young man, and I must cry, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, the sinner.” And even knowing this, still I follow Him.

Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
Mark 10:21