Why don't you hit on Somebody who can really satisfy the longings of your heart, and not waste your life running after temporary fixes? You have only one life to spend. Why not use it to buy eternal life? which starts today, not after you're dead.
You didn't have a choice to be born, but you do have a choice to be born again, and if you choose that option, then death will be a door to your heart's desire, not a crashing down of a coffin lid.
To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God. Revelation 2:7 NIV
Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life. Revelation 2:20 NIV
To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it. Revelation 2:17 NIV
To him who overcomes and does my will to the end, I will give authority over the nations—'He will rule them with an iron scepter; he will dash them to pieces like pottery'— just as I have received authority from my Father. I will also give him the morning star. Revelation 2:26-28 NIV
He who overcomes will, like them, be dressed in white. I will never blot out his name from the book of life, but will acknowledge his name before my Father and his angels. Revelation 3:5 NIV
Him who overcomes I will make a pillar in the temple of my God. Never again will he leave it. I will write on him the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which is coming down out of heaven from my God; and I will also write on him my new name. Revelation 3:12 NIV
To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. Revelation 3:21 NIV